Accident Prone

Schick and Gillette are in a grim race to pack the most blades possible on a shaver, with no regard to our safety.

The result? The Quattro, which as you can see, is basically a carrot peeler that whittles away flesh with every horrible stroke. I knew four blades was dangerous. Shit, three blades was pushing it. But the commercials were so convincing. There was that animated diagram showing how the blades met the face, a thin lubricated strip moisturizing the skin as you shaved. It all seemed so logical. If three blades gave you the closest shave a man can get, what would four deliver?

I have my answer.

Don't buy the Quattro. Don't even look at it. It's a sick fucking invention, the end result of an escalating arms race by two evil companies hell bent on eliminating every God-given follicular root on our miserable faces.

Don't worry, I've already taken steps to exact my revenge on Schick. I printed a complaint form off their customer service site and plan mail it in first thing tomorrow or maybe the next day. Then we'll see whose laughing.