Accident Prone

Thank you, Xerox. Now I have no fingers.

Happy?

All I wanted to do was copy a stupid PowerPoint chart so I could share it at a meeting. But, no. Your WorkCentre C2424 was out of ink.

I knew how to change the giant ink cartridge. What I didn't know was that the C2424 would suddenly spring to life with my hand in the goddamned thing. And I definately didn't count on the paper feed being so strong that it would pluck my fingers off and mash them into kimchi, then color copy the whole freakshow on 11x17 photo paper.

Now I have somebody else's fingers stitched onto my hand. Some pimp, they tell me. I can move them OK, but the freaking things are like two inches too long! The only plus side -- and this is a small plus -- is that I got four gold rings out of the deal. But that will hardly pay my medical bills.

I expect you to pay for that, assholes.